Many couples feel that there’s nothing left to be done once they’re at the point of considering a divorce. That’s far from the truth, though. There are lots of things a couple can try to help save their marriage before resorting to divorce. Here are three great options for couples to consider trying before getting a divorce.
Try Couples Therapy
As long as both parties are willing to work on things, couples therapy can be a huge help for couples that are on the brink of divorce. It’s helpful for couples to have a neutral party like a therapist present when they’re talking through problems to ensure both sides are being heard and expressing their feelings fairly. During couples therapy, a licensed therapist helps the couple understand the challenges of their relationship and work through them. This can be achieved through communication exercises, journal prompts, or just talking honestly.
Couples therapy is also important because it not only helps the couple solve their current issues, but it also helps lay a foundation for solving problems in the future. This ensures couples can solve the current problems they feel are leading to a divorce and make a plan for avoiding the path to divorce in the future.
It is important to note that couples therapy typically is not effective if both parties involved are not fully committed to working things through and saving the marriage. Both people need to be invested in participating in therapy and taking the suggestions of their therapist.
Have A Calm Discussion With Your Partner.
If at all possible, couples should sit down and have a calm discussion (or several) about the relationship. Take turns talking about your feelings and your opinions on why the marriage isn’t working out. There should be no yelling, name-calling, or accusing during this conversation.
Express your feelings as calmly as you can, and avoid unfairly laying blame on your partner or bringing up irrelevant issues from the past. Try to stay focused on solving the current issues in your marriage that you feel are leading to divorce rather than hanging onto old grudges. It’s also important to keep the conversation about you and your partner. Avoid talking about others’ thoughts and opinions about your relationship— they aren’t part of the marriage.
Remember: You can’t take back your words. When you sit down to have an honest discussion with your partner before deciding on a divorce, really think about what you want to say before you say it. This conversation is not an opportunity for you to insult your partner and make them feel bad about their shortcomings.
If you follow these guidelines, you’ll be able to have a calm, honest discussion with your partner about your marriage problems and hopefully work through them before resorting to divorce.
Think About How The Divorce Will Affect Others In Your Life.
Sometimes, couples are tempted to just throw in the towel and settle for a divorce before really thinking about what a divorce will mean for each of their lives and the lives of their families and friends.
If you have kids, really think about how a divorce could impact them. Young children of divorce often experience behavioral issues and other problems that can follow them into adulthood. It’s hard for kids to adapt to the change of their parents being separated, and this struggle to adapt could result in poor school performance, social anxiety, and other life-altering side effects.
Even if you don’t have kids, think of what it will mean for your friendships. If you and your partner are friends with lots of couples, your divorce may mean those friendships will fizzle out and end. Of course, maintaining friendships is not a strong reason to stay in a bad marriage. It is worth thinking about though when you’re considering whether or not to pursue a divorce.